Undying Love.

my problem with special/warm/nice gestures is that when I get them, I would be afraid that I would love them too much that I'll do anything to get them and not get the issue done by myself. Which will lead to me being very lazy and learn nothing from life because I have no experience in hardships.

so in a desperate attempt to gain real hardships, I took the liberty to handle my future on my own. and of course it was hard but I knew I have to go through it all, because the matter that I am fighting for is precious. Too precious that I didn't see it's true worth, that I took it for granted. Seek it when I'm only in distressed.

I was blinded by fake tokens of happiness that looked down on me and abandoned me during tough scenes. They didn't want to fight hard to get me, I'm too much for their sanity. But I know for sure that this matter won't judge me.