Just give up already.

the situation is like this.

when you've realize the bitterness in life since you were still young, it changes how you grow up. It doesn't matter how much attention and love are given to you because when your foundation is not strong, nothing you build will last long. Then you reserve yourself because you were told that your character is not charming enough and it was okay concealing your flaws, till a lifetime is too much.

The moment you start to open up is the moment you lose everyone else. Be stamped as culture shocked, easily influenced by, having no self recognition, are some labels that were thrown at you. People were so used to your made up self that the real you is fake.

Some might start to leave you behind but if you are 'lucky', some will try their best to mold you back into the person they know you as. That version of yourself is more convenient to them. They can't accept the fact on how messed up you really are, because it reflects their failed efforts to mold you becoming the person they fantasize of.