Running in circles

As I accomplished to identify my passion
I figured they are all I need to know
Those are the aspects that my life complete
That I couldn't be persuaded by worldly curses
But I was wrong

How could I leave it behind to chase the other
Such dearly influencers,
both,
Why can't I have my embrace filled

Because one without the other sounds impossible
And feels like a bad joke early in the morning
And when I try to close my mind
The force gets stronger
Because I shouldn't have given you up

Now I'm running in circles of my teen fears
Of when I shoved issues and paranoia under the rug
And not out of my life

Now the rug is hunged
And shadows appear
Reminding my conscience
Of the failure I tried to kill